‘I refuse to give her any of the money, it has to go towards paying off the car that SHE wrecked’: 41-year-old totals her 22-year-old sister’s car, then demands the insurance money and her month’s payment back

A brand new car meets a lifetime of bad choices when a 41-year-old sister totals the 22-year-old's old car head-on, then demands her month's payment back and the insurance payout. The arrangement was already generous.

Family lease with no interest, mom kept it on the family policy, and the sister drove it the whole month before the crash. Insurance money has a job. It pays the remaining loan first, covers fees, and the policyholder eats the premium hike. There is no bonus check for the driver who caused the loss. Refunding a month she fully used makes no sense. 

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Author image for Etai Eshet Etai Eshet
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  • My sister wrecked my car and now thinks she deserves the insurance payout

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  • I (22F) have an older sister (41F) who I have a lot of trouble with. Obviously as you can tell by our ages we're 19 years apart.
    via Same-Armadillo2611
  • We've never been close or have ever truly "gotten along" because of a lot of differences. For context my sister has had a lot of issues with dr s, for as long as I can remember.
    via Same-Armadillo2611
  • She's been arrested multiple times and has almost d d from overdose as well. She also has 3 kids who depend on her and her husband to take care of them.
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  • There is a lot of stories I can get into when it comes to her and our relationship but i'm trying to keep this short.
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  • The guilt routine shows up on cue. Nobody loves me and it’s how I was raised. That is not a refund policy. Accountability is adult work and a DUI plus fault equals liability, not dividends. The clean line is simple. Payout goes to the lien and any leftover goes to the titled owner who is now stuck with higher rates and a claim on record. 

  • In July this year I was blessed enough to be able to buy myself a brand new car (YAY) all by myself. I still had my old car, which i still owed about 3 grand on.
    via Same-Armadillo2611
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  • My sister was in desperate need of car to take her to and from work. I agreed to let her lease the car from me for a certain amount of money a month,
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  • our mom also agreed to keep the car on our insurance and she would take over the payments for that. A little over a month into having the car she wrecked it, hit someone head on.
    via Same-Armadillo2611
  • Police ruled it was her fault and I believe she was even arrested for DUI. She broke her Sternum and with that was not able to work for a while in order to heal.
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  • Here is where the issue came a long.. She's arguing with me and my mom about us giving her the money for the month that she paid on the car (she drove for the WHOLE month) BUT ALSO the money the insurance pays.
    via Same-Armadillo2611
  • I have refused to give her any of the money, most of it has to go towards paying off the car that SHE wrecked anyway. Also keep in mind, now mine and my mom's insurance is going up
    via Same-Armadillo2611
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  • because we had to file this claim onto it. She proceeds to go off and say that nobody loves her and that we never do anything for her... i could've sold the car
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  • and made more money off that but instead i was going to let her pay me monthly until it was paid off with NO INTEREST!! She also blames everything on "how she was raised",
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  • never taking accountability for the choices she has made as an ADULT. Everything to her is my mom's fault because maybe if she was raised differently she would've turned out different.
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  • I feel like i'm fighting a losing battle. So AITA for refusing to give her the money from the car insurance payout?
    via Same-Armadillo2611

  • If she needs help with rides while healing, that is a separate conversation that does not come out of the claim. Boundaries protect credit, premiums, and peace of mind. Saying no to handing over the insurance money is not cruel. It is basic financial triage after someone else’s wreck landed on a family policy. Keep it short with her. The claim is paying off the car. There is nothing to split. If she wants a car fund, she can start with accountability instead of accusations.

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